sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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