The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
