I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
