Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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