I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
