guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Randomize
