their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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