Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
They have beer where we have blood.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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