Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
