i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
