you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
