I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
