When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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