Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
