Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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