Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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