i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
