I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
When did angry sex become our thing?
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
