i just had sex bonerless
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
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