If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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