Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
