i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
