why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
