sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
