He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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