Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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