My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
