If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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