I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
no more duck duck goose at the bar
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Randomize
