Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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