The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
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