but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Randomize
