A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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