Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Randomize
