This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
