Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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