I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
sex in a hospital.. check
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
My feet surprised me
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
