4 words: hood of his car
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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