he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
