Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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