i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Randomize
