did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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