you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
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