Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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