u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Randomize
