How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
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