so let's talk penis.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
