You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
You can't special order awesome
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
