I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
