Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
