my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Randomize
